In the beginning....

This is my journal - finally, hopefully - after zillions of times of trying to record things I think.

And, this is about the 4th time I've started "MY BLOG".... Hopefully I will continue and become rich and famous because of it. Hah! I have no desire to become famous.....rich would be nice, but not too rich, just enough that I could afford whatever I need/want. I believe that THAT is today's American Dream - being able to just afford whatever one needs/wants.

Okay, before I begin, I would like anyone to know that I am a believer in God/Christ/Holy Spirit. I am sort of a "fundamentalist" - people who take the Bible literally as coming from the mouth of GOD. However, I am a really big sinner - daily - and/but because of how God teaches me to believe, I am forgiven - because of what the Bible/God says. Not because I deserve it or work for it in any way, but because it is a GIFT from God (my real father) and I accept it. Email me if you want to discuss this any further. I could go on forever and ever. But one more thing before I leave this subject. I am who I am because God made me this way. I love who I am because God made me this way. I thank God daily that He saved me in spite of how terribly awful I am. Unconditional love - how awesome and how very unworthy I am.

.... in the beginning.....
The very first thing I remember of life is being in my crib, and trying to let down the side of my crib by sticking my foot outside the bars and trying to push on the release bar - and getting my leg stuck between the mattress and the crib bar. I remember not wanting to take a nap and tippy toeing to look over the side of my crib to peer down the stairs and my mother standing at the bottom of the stairs telling me to lay down. I would then throw myself back down on my mattress. Was I like 5 or something? How can I remember this crap?

I remember playing dolls with my mom. This was before I knew there were friends to be had. We played house and she was awesome at it. She taught me everything I knew about pretending. My childhood was awesome but I would not have realized this until I was older and heard about other people's childhoods.

The second person I remember realizing was my grandmother who lived right nextdoor. I remember her trying to get me to nap by holding me in her arms and walking back and forth from the dining room to the living room - and watching the patterns on the ceiling sway back and forth and making my eyelids heavy. Or her rocking me on the porch and singing, "I wonder what's become of Sally." in her off-tone singing voice. She also used to sing "k-k-k-katie"
Those were the two I remember her singing me to sleep by. She also used to sing, "I come to the garden alone" - I believe that was her favorite hymn - I believe it is one of my favorites as well. She used to draw this thing - it was the only thing she claimed to be able to draw. It was a little man with a hat blowing a horn - and she drew it all in one line. I was amazed and can see it in my mind, but for the life of me I cannot duplicate it.

I would wake earlier than the rest of my family and head over (next door) to my Nan's house. She would usually be sitting at the end of her couch reading the bible. What an example she was. So humble, so trusting in God, so loyal. There were times when I woke before her and would knock on her door to wake her up. She always would get up and let me in. And not be mad because I woke her. How dare I? If she didn't wake right away I would open her front door and ring her god-awful doorbell that was like an alarm that would wake the dead. She'd come down and gleefully let me in. Oh how unconditionally she loved me and I have absolutely no reason in my head why she would have.

However.

Now, I am a grandma and my two little grandsons wake me early when they stay over, and although it is hard for me to "get going" in the morning, I happily rejoice in the fact that these two little people have enriched my life four-fold. And, yes, I love them unconditionally - even though they trash my house, leave fingerprints all over, ask a million questions, get into a million things, break some of my favorite things - I will always love them no matter what, and let them know that I love them no matter what.